Last night my mom and I had the pleasure of being part of the new Andy Dick reality show. He did a set at UCB LA; we arrived late so we were in the front row. Many comedians decided to "riff" on me during the night (ugh stand-up); Blaine Capatch of "Beat the Geeks" kept pointing at me and shouting the names of varied indie-rock bands, Brandon Small of "Home Movies" made fun of my mom for being too old. Dick took the cake. A VH1 girl was filming his set for his new reality show, "You Don't Know Dick." When Andy saw me he started "riffing" about how much I looked like his ex-wife and the mother of his 19-year-old son in the audience, titty jokes, et al. It's flattering to know even the third-weakest link of News Radio loves my plaid dress. In the middle of this, his drunk friend came onstage. This monstrous guy who was over 300 pounds and very sweaty and drunk. He kept ruining Andy's set and then grabbed Andy's balls and then puked all over the audience. Tiny, chunky pieces of vom got on my jeans and shoes. Andy announced, covered in puke, that "we've had enough of his faggoty jokes," and ran off-stage.

After dissecting the moment, everyone in the audience thought it was fake. (Too much corn in the vomit, worked out too smoothly.) Looking at the internet, I've found from copious Andy Dick research that his new show is a "tongue-in-cheek" look at his career and that it was probably staged. I was hoping it was real, so that a) I wouldn't be on TV because the footage would be deemed inappropriate, or b) I'd be part of a comedy moment people were talking about forever. However, there's something cheap to me about "punking" an entire audience. HAHA, my set was fake! So? All sets are fake. Go be a man and go punk a senator like Sasha Baron Cohen.

Besides that it was a pretty disappointing show; the weakest I've seen at LA UCB. But still, being here is great. I got such cute clothes at Pull My Daisy and Keep, visited a Korean Titanic tribute coffeeshop and sat below Billy Zane, and today I'm going to school to meet my mom's kids (one of whom is in MS-13 OMGOMGOMG!).