Reviews: Hippie Products

Although I don't actively pursue a hippie lifestyle, there are many hippie products I embrace - Kashi, couch surfing, Lush, and walking dogs in canyons. Here are some reviews of hippie products I've recently come across.

1. Tom's Shoes: magnificent. They mold to your feet and don't get too messed up when they're rained on, come in a variety that is stylish (even though the shoes themselves aren't overly stylish), and most of all, they help the children. They aren't very expensive and you can walk in them all day. My friend who only wears Adidas massage-y sandals, even in the winter, ceded on buying these because she had the same feeling of breathing feet.

2. Diva Cup: while the idea of reusable menstrual devices is, admittedly, a little gross, consider that in the 1950's we were wearing menstruation belts! Stop living in the past throwing out your tampons and become both frugal and practical with a Diva Cup (or Moon Cup, Keeper, or any other painfully named plastic device). Because I am a sort of gross person that loves to stick stuff up my nose to induce sneezing and picking at my toenails, I obviously love seeing the blood collect in the basin and being sort of satisfied about all that my body has produced in a few hours. Con: although the Diva Cup is good for the environment and lasts forever, it's sort of awkward to use in a large public restroom (how will you wash it out?) or if someone ever walked in on you if the door wasn't fully locked.

3. Trader Joe's - Union Square Branch: apparently I am not skilled enough to work at this Trader Joe's. Is my resume not good enough to get a third interview? Did I not have enough register experience? Am I not perky enough? Screw you guys. I don't care that you totally restock the store six times a day and have mini-soy milks and are centrally located right by Kim's. Not interested.

4. Ellen Show: I loved Ellen's sitcom when I was younger, but I'll say it: Ellen's talk show sucks. Everyone wants to like it because it's a daytime talk show hosted by a progressive lesbian, but it's boring and so awkward it makes you want to cringe. She leads the audience in a chant of the Oscar Meyer Weiner song to prove that nostalgia rocks and encourages people to dance. Even Ellen knows that this is a program for hackzors.

5. Trail Mix: delicious, but I'm still not sure if it's "worth it."
Edit: today I ate too much trail mix and I don't think it's worth it, although making your own trail mix by picking and chosing from bulk dried fruits and unsalted nuts usually is.