don't remember if it's on that page of vanity fair

CULINARY MUSTS:

* Kashi Crisp! Berry Toasted Crumble - goes above and beyond any reasonable expectation of a breakfast cereal and into some benevolent other space.
* Brooklyn Brine Lavender-Pickled Asparagus - words cannot describe. Complex but also natural. Is sold at Urban Rustic for a lofty $11 a jar that you can quantify once you savor them over the course of a week and wonder how you can re-use the brine after. Fact: I might be thinking of the wrong local pickling company, the guy who gave me my latter two tattoos works for Brooklyn Brine? and I remember he also has a dog; what a life, to be a dog owning multi-artisan. This made me question what I was doing with my own life.
* Mimi's Hummus in Ditmas Park - due to neighborhood synergetic laws can only go here on a day when I have class and it's nice outside.

Martha, Martha, Martha! Find it hard to believe that, while she consumes all the locally sourced cheese goods I could never afford to, she has somehow never tried maple ice cream? As soon as I am in school, I'm going to a filming.

In commemoration of the one-year anniversary of the "Mmm, girl, that is the sweetest treat!" exchange: I want to go to this truck, besides the bourbon (ugh, why do ice cream places do that? It's so...high school), the flavors sound like they pretty much nail it.

Edit: Meg and I went, and the ice cream was perfect (although the scooping staff a bit too earnest).

Unexpected recent delights:
Governors Island (notably City of Dreams mini-golf, perhaps the greatest competitive leisure sport I've ever experienced?)
Watching Basketball (notably WNBA's Liberty team, and players Janel McCarville and Shameka Christion)
Tommy Hilfiger-brand bras (I guess this evil-ish company is good for something after all?)
Wintergirls (not a "delight" but surprisingly great and epic)
Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton / Michel Crichton lore / sexual dreams about Jeff Goldblum
Sephora-brand nail polish (strong shades, does not chip)
Use of quotation marks in Cathy wiki


Did not "take" to lately:
Tribe-brand hummus (almost turned me off hummus entirely until reminded its worth by Trader Joe's-brand)
Green Giant-brand baby carrots (look out, they get...greasy)
EAT Records "going green" and making you bring your own cup for iced coffee
The order in which the characters were killed off in Alien
Astoria


Always a delight:
Tom's-brand shoes AND toothpaste
Five Leaves meats, Urban Rustic sandwiches (Tahawus!)
Built By Wendy / the act of saving up a gift certificate for months and months and finally using it
EAT Records CSA

Lox is my favorite food and although intuitively I would be skeptical of a "discount fish warehouse everything must go!," I am so excited to go here some beautiful distant Friday when I'm not located at a mid-town office with whom I signed a "no blogging!" contract.

h8 u

A recent trend in my office has been getting ice cream cakes on birthdays. I hate ice cream cake. If I want ice cream, I'll have ice cream. If I want cake, I'll have some cake (or a cupcake if I'm with a whimsical friend). I don't want the two to meet.


This isn't some sort of bubble tea or bacon chocolate bar thing where two jarring tastes combine for the better; this is a sloppy melty mess that always have too many "jimmies." You always feel sick after, too. I call a boycott.

There is a twenty-five-cent-wing-night/competition at The Habitat (ten-fifteen minute walk from my place) on Tuesday nights; who will join me in casting the first stone?

With a heavy heart, I (I who was named most similar in personality to "Yogurt & Green Onion" Kettle Chip in a sea of "New York Cheddar"-types; I who has sampled every interactive game on the Kettle Chip website when all other sites were blocked at Kim's) cannot endorse the new Sweet Onion Kettle Chip.

You know when you expect something to taste one way, and it doesn't, and it's disgusting?

Imagine when I woke up this morning, stretched, yawned, reached for the square Chocolate Soy Milk Trader Joe's box, and drank from a square fridge-cold box of Trader Joe's Chicken Broth instead.

Lapsed vegan + refused to eat chocolate for first seventeen years of life = number one fan of Mo's Bacon Bar. Seriously, readers, this is among the best desserts I've ever had (alongside Doughnut Plant and banana nila wafer pudding) and although the large bar is $7.50 you should really try it out.

September is going to be a really big month for me. I moved in to Greenpoint yesterday, I start my new, grown-up job on the fifteenth, my 22nd year, and most of all, The International Pickle Festival.

Food I Want To Try That I've Never Tried:


1. African-that-isn't-Ethopian
2. Korean Barbeque
3. Incongruously Fried Junk Food (corn dogs, fried candy bars, basically anyplace they show in Food Network and Travel Channel specials on how disgusting and decadent the things contemporary Americans fry are)
4. Bahn mi (mostly for price reasons)
5a. Girly, sugary, creepily colored alcoholic beverages
5b. Girly, sinister Chinese restaurant alcoholic beverages

Update: Tried corn dog 6/26/08 at Coney Island Nathan's (thanks for the bite, Jason). Strong B+/A-.

Also: I used to love chai lattes, but now it's like "UGH WTF NO WAI this shit is disgusting."

Exceptionally mundane, but: I think a really great invention would be some sort of stick you measured into a freshly poured bowl of cereal that told you exactly how much milk to pour into the bowl so that there'd be no milk left over in the end that you'd just have to dump down the sink.

I mean, it would save you a ton of milk.

In other recent news: False Ad were the Dead Kennedys for Halloween and I was Michael.

If eating so many eggs that your body is thrown out of balance is wrong, we don't want to be right.

While I really liked Ratatouille, even in light of my perpetual rodent problems, it seemed to me like the Crane brothers wrote a children's movie.

"What will happen next, Niles?"
"Well, the food critic will sample the delicious fare and flash back to his developmental childhood, of course!"
"Brilliant, my brother!"

Even though there are a few weeks left this summer, I feel pretty confident that it wouldn't effect this list.

Top Ten Foods, Summer 2007

1. Soy milk
(including and especially: other soy-based dairy products, chocolate soy milk)
2. Anything from Trader Joe's
3. Boylan's Diet Black Cherry Soda
(Dr. Browns is simply no substitute)
4. Fried haddock with malt vinegar from A Salt And Battery
5. Pumpernickel bagels with tomatoes and salt
6. Pinkberry
(bananas are the choice toping, although, to be honest, I'm starting to get a little sick of this shit)
7. Asian fusion vegan stuff
(my friends are all vegetarians and I've become accustomed to this, and, in fact, really enjoy it)
8. Fancy red meat, when paid for by someone else
9. Mexican-style corn
10. Tie: Watermelon / Orbit bubble gum
("But Orbit isn't a food!" - I go through a pack of it at a time. So yes, it is.)