recording a pun

Here's a pun I made up at work. The name of a breastfeeding-centric magazine for breastfeeders and those who love them, filled with advice, how-to's, reviews, and care.

Tit For Tot: A Breeder's Digest.

Have I reached the pinnacle of my life, creatively? Not sure.

Recording this here, for posterity's sake: imagine this headline in the film review section of US Weekly:

SEX AND THE CITY 2: GET THEM TO THE SHEIK !

People Magazine Halloween Headline Gmail Pun-Off
Starring Pete, Zan, Other Zan, and Molly

M: TRICK OR TWEET!: We sit down with the founder of Twitter to discuss the future of technology, the presidency, and just what he's dressing up as this Halloween!
Z: HAPPY HALLI-WEEN!: Geri Halliwell discusses love, life, and her secret candy apple recipe!
P: IRAQ-NOPHOBIA!: U.S. Soldiers discuss the horror of the ground war in Iraq, and why spiders totally freak them out!
M: THIRD DEGREE BOO-URN VICTMIS SPEAK OUT: "We're Not Freaks!" and/or GHOST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER SUFFERERS SPEAK OUT: "We're Not Freaks!"
Z: R. U AFRAID OF THE DARK?: R. Kelly discusses his new album Dark Chocolate and his Halloween plans!
O.Z.: MISCHIEF NIGHT: M. Night Shyamalan, the "bad boy" director of Hollywood, talks about fame, dealing with the critics, and why Halloween is his favorite holiday!
Z: DONNIE DARKO: Donnie Osmond on his battle with schizophrenia
M: HAUNTED "HOUSE": Hugh Laurie dishes on his character's dark side, and, also, CANDY KORN: Jonathan Davis proves this band's new album is a trick AND a treat!
P: HELLRAZOR: Troubled young women discuss their struggles with self-mutilation, and their sexiest halloween costumes!

I am proud of "ghost traumatic stress syndrome" but I think this round goes to Zan?

I DID IT

I did it. People come up with "funny" names for fake porns all the time ("Good Will Humping, do you get it?") but I am confident that I have come up the best pop culture-pun based porn ever.



"FUCK EVERLASTING"

Master List of Alcholic Beverages Served at "To the Alehouse"

Wine
Wide Sargasso Sangria
Waiting For Merlot
The Invisible Manischewitz
Wineteen-eighty-four

Beer
A Passage to India Pale Ale
Lady Chatterly's Lager
The Secret Hogaarten
Calvin and Hops
The Miller Lite in August
Billy Budweiser
The Pilsner Inside Me
An Ale of Two Cities
The Beer of Magical Thiking
Beer and Loathing in Last Vegas
Sarah Plain and Tall Boys

Liquor
Tequila Mockingbird
The Snows of Mount Tequilamanjaro
Absalom Absolut
Gin Eyre
Disaronno Country for Old Men
Raise High The Jim Beam Carpenters
The Unbearable Lightness of Jim Beam
The Belvedere Jar
Catcher in the Rye Whiskey
The Picture of Dorian Grey Goose
A Rum of One's Own
Their Eyes Were Watching Vod
Tristam Brandy
Scotch-22

Mixed Drinks
Are You There God? It's Me, Margarita
The Master and Margarita
Atonemint Julep
Uncle Tom Collins
Middlesex on the Beach
The Old Man and the Seabreeze
One Flew Over the Cocktail's Nest
In Cold Bloody Mary
Vodka Cran of Green Gables
A Side Car Named Desire
Elderflowers for Algernon
Moby Daquiri
The S'tonic Verses

Bar Food
Potato Skin of Our Teeth
Lord of the Onion Rings
Lord of the Fries

Thank you to our circle of friends, without which this bar would never be possible.

Pun-Off 2008: Pete vs. Molly featuring guest appearance by Zan - Topic: will the walk to dinner tomorrow night be A Walk To Remember?

MJ: I'm glad it will be a Walk To Remember, because we will be going in a Shane Westward direction.
P: That's moore like it.
MJ: Pete, when I make puns with you, I feel (nicholas) SPARKS. Zan, you must be so jealous of our banter, you must want to grab a SHANK, MAN (Adam Shankman, director of A Walk To Remember). This email was great, truly nobody could have FOSHEEd it (Teresa Forsee, additional makeup artist).
Z: I just stopped in my tracks when I read this email. It was a balk to remember.
MJ: This email made me instantly start to repair my bathroom walls. It was a caulk to remember.
P: This is getting really corny - a stalk to remember.
MJ: Maybe we shouldn't get Mexican tomorrow at all - I know a great Asian fusion place on Bedford, A Wok To Remember.
P: Yeah, Bedford between 5th and 6th has like 5 asian restaurants - A Block To Remember.
MJ: ... afterwards we can stop at the Mini-Mini Market and I can buy A Frock To Remember (no dress-wearing for you, Pete, unless you want A Mock To Remember)!
P: No thanks, but afterwards I'd really like to stop by Reel Life and rent that Star Trek Miniseries - A Spock To Remember. Then after that I need to hit up Main Drag Music to by a Glockenspiel- A Glock To Remember. From there, we go to Radioshack so I can get a surge protector, to avoid a Shock To Remember. And then, I'd like to see if I can reconnect with that kid who briefly went to SIS...this is a stretch, but....a Danny Sprock To Remember.

Winner?