FINALLY!

Last night I had a really sexual sex dream where my sister and I were living in our childhood home and both dating handsome vampires, and I didn't go outside or go to work, just stayed in banging him slowly. One day he suddenly disappeared and I cried and was really lonely and horny, so I called my friends over to help me find him, and Carrie's vampire boyfriend (who looked like Rob Pattinson, not going to lie) said "did you think to look at this?," and I looked, and my mattress was covered in blood, dripping in blood, blood spots on the mattress and the floor.

This isn't important because it's a metaphor of my fear of men, or competition with my sister, or childhood forsaken in favor of adult passions, but it's important because vampires are so so trendy right now, and at first I didn't "get" why they are considered sexy, but at least on a sub-conscious level I have finally embraced them.