Had a dream the other night where I had to do an impromptu stand-up comedy set, my first one ever, in front of my father and a boy I used to, ahem. This dream was set in the house I grew up in, in the kitchen and on the stairs. But my dad never showed up! Just the boy, and he was really critical of my nervous and half-assed routine! WHAT COULD THIS DREAM MEAN? It's so delicate; so subtle.

Last night I had a dream where I met a generic-looking comedian on the Greyhound bus and we had sex a lot in this magnificent yet shabby hotel where he was organizing a comedy festival. And at first I was really flattered for the attention and totally into it, but then I began to grow uncomfortable and smothered by his nonstop desire for throwing me onto a bed and his bad prop-based sketch comedy. WHAT COULD THIS MEAN?! VERY ABSTRACT.

ill tidings

Last night I had a dream that I was sitting in a cafe and Roberto Beningi sat next to me, and I pretended not to know who he was, and he started flipping out at me: "you obviously recognize me! You know I'm Roberto Beningi!," etc. Then we fought some more. While packing up bosses' books at work I broke off both pinky nails. I'd say these are both ill tidings, and I think they are, except that Salon suggested that there will be a 3-D re-release of Titanic.

Boring dreamtalk. Last night's dream included:
- my mother explaining that although Rent gets a lot of flack, it's actually really great and essentially her favorite musical.
- driving Clueless-type Jeeps down flights of stairs in the Canal Street subway stop.
- skateboarding with Nick Katzban.
- having joined a wintery commune.

Also my company just merged with William Morris so now it's like : (

FINALLY!

Last night I had a really sexual sex dream where my sister and I were living in our childhood home and both dating handsome vampires, and I didn't go outside or go to work, just stayed in banging him slowly. One day he suddenly disappeared and I cried and was really lonely and horny, so I called my friends over to help me find him, and Carrie's vampire boyfriend (who looked like Rob Pattinson, not going to lie) said "did you think to look at this?," and I looked, and my mattress was covered in blood, dripping in blood, blood spots on the mattress and the floor.

This isn't important because it's a metaphor of my fear of men, or competition with my sister, or childhood forsaken in favor of adult passions, but it's important because vampires are so so trendy right now, and at first I didn't "get" why they are considered sexy, but at least on a sub-conscious level I have finally embraced them.

Dear Dream Diary, Last night I dreamt I was Soleil Moon-Frye and I was upset because people were making Wikipedia entries about what a "skank" I am (my dream's word, not mine). I understand why I would dream about Wikipedia, but I've never even watched Punky Brewster - what gives? Love, Molly.

Not kidding when I say that last night I had a dream where I was in a prank war with Kelsey Grammer that got "too real" when he threw my laptop off a three-story building.

At Work #2 I have to use a large butcher knife, to cut blocks of soap. Lately I've been having reoccurring dreams - well, not even dreams, but visions - at night of cutting off my own right point finger on the job.

Ladies and gentlemen, let this be known as "foreshadowing."

Also, ladies and gentlemen, happy Chanuka/Chanukah/Chanukka/Chanukkah/Hanuka/Hanukah/Hanukka/Hanukkah.