The bottom five things about the cat:

5. How my hands smell like wet food after I feed him wet food, even though I am quite careful not to get any on my hands.
4. When he bites and scratches, notably, when he bites my lower calves in the morning when he wants to be fed.
3. When I'm showering and he opens the door to the shower out of cat-like curiosity, and I'm hit with a huge gust of cold air, and then the shower door is open for the rest of my shower, so conceivably anyone in the kitchen could see me naked.
2. His weeping waking me up in the middle of the night/in the early morning.
1. Kitty litter on the bottom of my bare feet, and, inevitably, in my tights when I put them on.