Best lead-in sentence I've read in a while:

"If you want to buy the new album by the Dave Matthews Band, 'Big Whiskey and the GrooGrux King' (RCA), next month, you have some choices to make."

This album title is even worse than the Coldplay one. It's reverting to the seventies. Also, another music-related fact I learned from the Times today ... Marilyn Manson's brand of absinthe is called "Mansinthe."

Could it be? Vice did something that made me L-O-L?

Fifty-year-olds say the darndest things. For example, a recent Gchat conversation with my father:

Michael: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMUDGYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
me: haha dad you have truly mastered the internet
Michael: i knowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

I am sort of bummed that virb didn't work out; aesthetically it was just so much better.

Media Trashing (as rehashed from email with Jamie Johns)
Street Boners and TV Carnage
TV Carnage is something I really love. I own all the DVDs and have frequently included their creator, Derrick Beckles/Big Pinky, on top ten multimedia hottie lists:

I am also partial to the mainstreaming and everyday use of the term "boner," and used to really like Vice (whose departed co-founder, Gavin McInnes, also runs this site). So assumedly, I'd be a big fan of this venture. But it sucks. A lot.

TV Carnage without context ( essentially, an ordinary YouTube clip)
+
the worst aspects from Vice (unfunny do's and dont's x David Cross asskissing x a level of staff narcissism that eclipses even the letter-from-the-editor of Jane Magazine)
=
SB&TVC.

Not to mention they are at least two weeks too late on everything they blog about (Lasagna Cat, Galafianakis & Cera).

Chunklet: The Overrated Book

I am a huge fan of lists, especially lists of overrated things (see: Radar Magazine's Overrated Issue, staring Becks & Posh, cupcakes, ballet flats). However, this magazine's "best of" compilation is basically the journalistic equivalent of the Ben Stiller show: topical, outdated, excruciatingly white and Garofalo-y.

That being said, I can't be all negative. Recent journalism I like: the New York Times review of The Bucket List a few weeks ago (they described Jack Nicholson as "whale-like at seventy"), the otherwise stupid Blender Magazine's "Dogs That Look Like Celebrities" feature, The Week magazine (if it didn't have a business section, it'd be flawless), the "dreamcatcher" and "gay frat" jokes on the ticker of this Onion News Network video (HEY-oh!).

Breaking News: Series Of Concentric Circles Emanating From Glowing Red Dot

Embarrassing Screen Names Of The Past
1. CybrActive (my sister's, but my idea - truly a collaboration)
2. ROCKSTARjane (a tribute to Jane Magazine, my middle name, and, obviously, what a rock star I was in middle school)
3. ViRGOGRRLi (a fleeting attempt to care about astrology?)
4. Tralala13 (sadly this was a Last Exit To Brooklyn reference)
5. granddaddyclock / jaredtheemu (screen names my sister and I would use to harass our friends online)

So I accidentally cut off my bangs on Friday night? According to my theory, one out of every four girls in the world can correctly cut hair based on feminine intuition alone. I thought I was that "one." I'm actually one of the 75 percent.

Before I cut off my bangs I won a contest at Work #2 to see who could convince and harangue the most customers to sign up for an email list. Winning made me feel sleazy and cheesy. I used the Urban Outfitters gift card to buy these:



Fingerless gloves, like Stephen Colbert or the White Stripes or Pinkberry, are really really popular for a reason.

Anything else? Oh yeah, Bodza the Hungarian golden retriever was the centerfold earlier this week on dailypuppy.com and he broke my heart.